I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 21 Oct 17 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized |

I need you too much already, lah!     Well, that is they way we might say it in Thailand or other Southeast Asian countries.  But in spite of the charming local syntax, I reckon that the irrational belief that drives this sentiment is very nearly universal.  Taken to the the extreme, and combined in a cocktail of […]

1,871 total views, 4 views today


Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the "teapot model" of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

5,216 total views, 2 views today

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MUST I have what I want?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 13 Oct 17 in Demanding, Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

Hi REBT-mates! Do you believe that when you want something, you absolutely MUST have it . . . and that it is terrible when you don’t get what you must have? Or do you believe that while it is highly preferable to get what you want, there is not reason why you absolutely MUST have […]

750 total views, no views today


Guest Author, Dr. Edelstein : Negative emotions come from one type of irrational thinking

REBT (according to Ellis) posits that inappropriate negative emotions come from one type of irrational thinking . . . 204 total views, 2 views today Originally posted 2013-12-27 06:34:31.

204 total views, 2 views today


What is the difference between healthy & unhealthy emoting?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 8 Oct 17 in Demanding, Emotions |

"When adversities happen to people, they can choose to make themselves either (1) healthfully negative, sorry and regretful and annoyed and frustrated and disappointed about the happening  or (2) unhealthfully negative  creating feelings of horror, terror, anxiety, depression, rage, and other disturbed feelings, along with dysfunctional behaviors. And even if they create these dysfunctional feelings and behaviors, […]

2,603 total views, 2 views today


Are opinions incompatible with REBT-CBT?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 5 Oct 17 in Acceptance, Demanding, Events, Rating, ULA, UOA, USA |

 Are opinions incompatible with REBT???    What do you think? 228 total views, no views today Originally posted 2013-04-20 18:13:40.

228 total views, no views today

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why's? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between "task-perfection" and "self-perfection." 3. Can we be motivated without . . . 1,799 total views, no views today […]

1,799 total views, no views today

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I NEED love! (not!)

valentine, love, romance, mating, dating, needs, preferences, disguised shoulds, musts

254 total views, 1 views today

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It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to . . .

Lesley Gore It’s My Party (1965) REBT Mates! We have been having an lively discussion about  and adult  who behaves with emotional immaturity such as avoiding attending a party for fear of seeing a rival there as a teenager might. 1,897 total views, no views today Originally posted 2013-08-15 02:19:55.

1,897 total views, no views today


Whine! Whine! Whine!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 15 Aug 17 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Rational Songs & Limericks, Videos |

Dr. Ellis loved making fun of his and our distorted thinking and irrational behavior with humorous rational songs, and  limericks.  Humor is, of course, fun, but also very powerful in helping us break the fonds of our irrational thinking.  Here is a special video by Dr. Ellis singing his famous "Whine! Whine! Whine!" song about […]

280 total views, no views today

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