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How to Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 10 Dec 18 in Albert Ellis, Anger, Books & Media, bookshop, Demanding, Low Frustration Tolerance |

God knows, we all need this one these days! 2 total views, no views today

2 total views, no views today

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Disguised “Should” statments

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 8 Dec 18 in Disguised shoulds, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should statements, Why? questions |

REBT Mates, it may have been yours truly who coined the term “disguised shoulds.” Dishonest “why” questions are one of the most obvious examples. Dishonest “whys” pretend to ask for an explanation when in fact they are really making a “should” statement. 1,116 total views, no views today Originally posted 2017-01-30 21:19:36.

1,116 total views, no views today

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 5 Dec 18 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . .   2,456 total views, no views […]

2,456 total views, no views today

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To Whine or Not To Whine

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 18 Nov 18 in Humor, Irrationality in the arts & media, Rational Songs & Limericks |

Jimmy Walter, one of the regular contributors at the REBT-CBT Forum Yahoogroup http://bit.ly/REBT-Yahoo  was generous enough to allow us to use his wonderful spoof on Hamlet's timeless soliloquy.   Special treat, at the end, see video of Dr. Ellis's singing his famous "Whine! Whine! Whine!" song…     856 total views, no views today Originally posted 2013-01-23 […]

856 total views, no views today

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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉  6,005 total views, no views today Originally […]

6,005 total views, no views today

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Task perfection vs. self-perfection.

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 21 Sep 18 in David Burns, Demanding, Perfectionism, Task Perfection vs. Self Perfection |

  Dare to be average! 1,398 total views, no views today Originally posted 2016-08-22 20:50:01.

1,398 total views, no views today

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I cried because I had no shoes…

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 21 Sep 18 in Awfulzing, Emotions, Guilt & Shame |

  I cried because I had no shoes . . .   2,114 total views, 4 views today Originally posted 2017-03-25 07:16:16.

2,114 total views, 4 views today

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Avoid shoulds, oughts, musts!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 21 Sep 18 in Demanding, Demanding, Homework, must, musty thinking, Should |

HOMEWORK Avoid using moralistic, absolutist “shoulds”, “oughts”, “musts”, et al. We don’t want to be rigid and dogmatic in this (and in all things). While keeping in mind there are perfectly innocuous uses of “should”, “ought”, “must”, it is nonetheless an excellent discipline to make the effort to avoid them, and to monitor yourself using […]

323 total views, no views today

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Masturbation is good and delicious . . .

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 19 Sep 18 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, Your Opinion Matters |

  Masturbation is good and delicious.  Musterbation is evil and pernicious! ~Albert Ellis, PhD   Share you thoughts and comments! Please help to keep our blog dynamic and organic.  Comments? Agree? Disagree? How do you interpret this statement? Do you think it affects the way you practice and apply REBT-CBT? Does Dr. Ellis's "salty" language […]

1,256 total views, no views today

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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the "teapot model" of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

6,286 total views, 3 views today

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