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Disguised “Should” statments

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 8 Dec 18 in Disguised shoulds, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should statements, Why? questions |

REBT Mates, it may have been yours truly who coined the term “disguised shoulds.” Dishonest “why” questions are one of the most obvious examples. Dishonest “whys” pretend to ask for an explanation when in fact they are really making a “should” statement. 1,116 total views, no views today Originally posted 2017-01-30 21:19:36.

1,116 total views, no views today

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 5 Dec 18 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . .   2,458 total views, 2 views today […]

2,458 total views, 2 views today

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I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 4 Dec 18 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized |

I need you too much already, lah!  Well, that is they way we might say it in Thailand or other Southeast Asian countries.  But in spite of the charming local syntax, I reckon that the irrational belief that drives this sentiment is very nearly universal.  Taken to the the extreme, and combined in a cocktail of other […]

2,825 total views, 4 views today

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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉  6,005 total views, no views today Originally […]

6,005 total views, no views today

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