Most people don’t realize that “I can’t” is a cognitive distortion. But I don’t mean that in the “positive thinking” sense of implying the opposite, “I can.” I mean it in the sense that if you CAN’T; if you really and truly absolutely honest to gawd CAN’T, then why are you torturing yourself, why are you even bothering? Why are you annoying all the people around you whining? This can’t business is extremely unhelpful. Fortunately, however, it is also delusional! Makes much more sense for me to begin with something like: “So far, I have not been able to _______. However, with the “right stuff,” the right tools, the right attitude, the right help and the right number of tries, MAYBE I CAN. The later is enervating and self-defeating. The former can provide some energy to act constructively and helpfully, and in doing so, by definition, puts the lie to that pesky CAN’T.
© 2017, Rex Alexander. All rights reserved.
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