RELINQUISH THOSE “DARLING SHOULDS!”
MY DARLING SHOULDS
If you are having difficulty relinquishing your “darling shoulds,” (and don’t we all?), you don’t have to make the buy-in all at once. You can ease into it more gradually. As a temporary bridge, try prefacing your statements with phrases such as “In my opinion. . . ” The best part is, you can begin immediately.
For example,
“In my opinion, Wi-Fi must never slow down, ever, under any circumstances.”
“As far as I’m concerned, meetings should always end early—especially when I’m bored.”
“The way I see it, other drivers ought to anticipate my lane changes telepathically.”
Is that perfectly elegant? No. However, “The perfect is the enemy of the good,” as they say. The important principle is that using this approach, you are
1. training yourself to take responsibility for your “rules”. You are refusing to blame them on God or some “higher authority” outside yourself.
2. You are training yourself to stop manipulating other people, places and things with your demands.
3. You are avoiding witlessly activating your sympathetic nervous system when things don’t go your way (which they often don’t).
It is likely that by experimenting with this for awhile, you will begin to regard it as healthy, highly rational, and even liberating. At that point, you will be more eager to trade in your “darling shoulds” for preferences. As Gary Emery put it, you will begin operating more and more in the “Choice System,” and less and less in the “Should System.” Try it. You can begin right now.
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Contact: Rex@REBTinfo.com
- RELINQUISH THOSE “DARLING SHOULDS!” - Wed 17 Jun 26
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