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Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 2 Feb 23 in Anger, Demanding, Uncategorized |

       People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.” ~Albert Ellis    2,005 total views Originally posted 2019-09-10 23:05:13.

 2,005 total views

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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the “teapot model” of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

 9,399 total views

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Avoid shoulds, oughts, musts!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 27 Jan 23 in Demanding, Demanding, Homework, must, musty thinking, Should |

HOMEWORK Avoid using moralistic, absolutist “shoulds”, “oughts”, “musts”, et al. We don’t want to be rigid and dogmatic in this (and in all things). While keeping in mind there are perfectly innocuous uses of “should”, “ought”, “must”, it is nonetheless an excellent discipline to make the effort to avoid them, and to monitor yourself using […]

 2,310 total views,  2 views today

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How to deal with a hen-pecking boss

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 10 Jan 23 in Awfulzing, Basics, Books & Media, Demanding, job burn out, What is REBT - CBT? |

Boss Mr. Dithers bullies employee Dagwood”Blondie” comic strip King Features Syndicate, 1930s Does the usual advice for improved communications skills and more assertiveness help us to deal with a boss who bullies?    5,582 total views,  1 views today Originally posted 2016-03-11 21:21:31.

 5,582 total views,  1 views today

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It’s official! “Awfulize” is now a word!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 6 Jan 23 in Anger, Awfulizing, Awfulzing, Basics, Demanding, Demanding, Emotions, Low Frustration Tolerance, must |

Dr. Ellis coined the term “awfulize” by transforming the adjective “awful” into a verb. The language of REBT can sometimes sound a little contorted, especially when employing “ePrime,” in it’s preference for  using more verbs and adverbs than nouns and adjectives.  Now, it is official! “Awfulizing” has made it to the big time and is […]

 4,476 total views

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Guest Author, Dr. Edelstein

REBT (according to Ellis) posits that inappropriate negative emotions come from one type of irrational thinking . . .  2,639 total views Originally posted 2013-12-27 06:34:31.

 2,639 total views

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I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 21 Dec 22 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized |

 I need you too much already, lah!  Four Tops – “Baby I Need Your Loving” (1966)  5,518 total views,  1 views today Originally posted 2013-08-01 18:17:04.

 5,518 total views,  1 views today

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Should you read this?

HOMEWORK CHALLENGE Are you conscious of how and when you use the words should, must, ought, etc? Will you take the homework challenge this week?     1,248 total views Originally posted 2018-09-02 18:11:21.

 1,248 total views

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Whine! Whine! Whine!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 1 Dec 22 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Rational Songs & Limericks, Videos |

   Dr. Ellis loved making fun of his and our distorted thinking and irrational behavior with humorous rational songs, and  limericks. Humor is, of course, fun, but also very powerful in helping us break the bonds of our irrational thinking.  Here is a special video by Dr. Ellis singing his famous “Whine! Whine! Whine!” song […]

 4,893 total views

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 16 Nov 22 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . .    4,701 total views Originally posted […]

 4,701 total views

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