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Avoid shoulds, oughts, musts!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 31 May 20 in Demanding, Demanding, Homework, must, musty thinking, Should |

HOMEWORK Avoid using moralistic, absolutist “shoulds”, “oughts”, “musts”, et al. We don’t want to be rigid and dogmatic in this (and in all things). While keeping in mind there are perfectly innocuous uses of “should”, “ought”, “must”, it is nonetheless an excellent discipline to make the effort to avoid them, and to monitor yourself using […]

 935 total views,  1 views today

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Whine! Whine! Whine!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 29 May 20 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Rational Songs & Limericks, Videos |

   Dr. Ellis loved making fun of his and our distorted thinking and irrational behavior with humorous rational songs, and  limericks. Humor is, of course, fun, but also very powerful in helping us break the bonds of our irrational thinking.  Here is a special video by Dr. Ellis singing his famous “Whine! Whine! Whine!” song […]

 2,697 total views,  4 views today

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I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 9 May 20 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized |

 I need you too much already, lah!  Four Tops – “Baby I Need Your Loving” (1966)  3,908 total views,  1 views today Originally posted 2013-08-01 18:17:04.

 3,908 total views,  1 views today

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Is “indifference” a better option than “strong preference”?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 29 Apr 20 in Demanding, Emotions, Needs vs. Preferences |

Is “indifference”  a valid alternative to having a “strong preference”?  We have been having a lively one over that  4,263 total views,  1 views today Originally posted 2013-07-17 19:12:21.

 4,263 total views,  1 views today

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What is the difference between healthy & unhealthy emoting?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 24 Apr 20 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, Emotions |

  When adversities happen to people, they can choose to make themselves either (1) healthfully negative, sorry and regretful and annoyed and frustrated and disappointed about the happening  or (2) unhealthfully negative . . .     1,834 total views Originally posted 2013-07-16 21:52:38.

 1,834 total views

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It’s official! “Awfulize” is now a word!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 12 Apr 20 in Anger, Awfulizing, Awfulzing, Basics, Demanding, Demanding, Emotions, Low Frustration Tolerance, must |

Dr. Ellis coined the term “awfulize” by transforming the adjective “awful” into a verb. The language of REBT can sometimes sound a little contorted, especially when employing “ePrime,” in it’s preference for  using more verbs and adverbs than nouns and adjectives.  Now, it is official! “Awfulizing” has made it to the big time and is […]

 2,320 total views,  3 views today

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A loyal reader asks about managing job burnout What a great topic! There is an expectation that has become common since the 1960’s that work is “supposed” to be fulfilling, satisfying, fun, even meaningful . . .   6,943 total views Originally posted 2013-06-25 02:53:25.

 6,943 total views

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Baby I Need Your Lovin’ . . . Really?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 22 Feb 20 in Awfulzing, Demanding, Love and Romance, Needs vs. Preferences, should statements |

Baby I Need Your Lovin’| Baby, I need your lovin’ I got to have all your lovin’ Baby, I need your lovin’ Got to have all your lovin’ ~The Four Tops, 1964      Awwwwww!  Ain’t that romantic?  Don’t that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?     Ain’t it the truth? […]

 3,274 total views

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 20 Feb 20 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . .    3,457 total views,  1 views today […]

 3,457 total views,  1 views today

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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the “teapot model” of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

 7,904 total views,  1 views today

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