PRACTICE : As you go about your day, stay alert for the words should, ought and must. Every time you hear someone speak those words, every time you read them, and especially every time you notice yourself using them, immediately “translate” into “In my opinion _____ should _____ . So, Senator Hogwash says, “Congress should lower taxes”, in your mind immediately, translate that to “In my opinion, congress should lower taxes.”
Or, “My spouse should pay more attention to me”, translate that to “In my opinion, my spouse should pay more attention to me.”
Better: “I strongly prefer that congress lower taxes!” or “I strongly prefer that my spouse pay more attention to me!”
If you do this faithfully, you will eventually notice that the way you view and experience yourself, other people and the world will change. So help me Hannah! You will begin to operate more from within the “Choice System” and less and less from the “Should System.” This is so important, but you won’t “get it” and experience the remarkable difference it can make until you actually observe these processes operating in yourself and others and think about the implications.
Please try this for a week and share your experiences here. And don’t let the dog eat your homework!
If you want to know more about the basis for this practice, a good place to start is “A Guide to Rational Living” by Dr. Albert Ellis.
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Originally posted 2018-09-02 18:11:21.