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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank you.”       Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉   6,882 total views, […]

 6,882 total views,  28 views today

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Anger Management Workbook

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 11 Sep 20 in Books & Media, bookshop |

The Anger Management Workbook: Use the  S.T.O.P.  Method to Replace Destructive Responses with Constructive Behavior    823 total views Originally posted 2018-12-09 03:20:41.

 823 total views

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MUST I have what I want?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 5 Sep 20 in Demanding, Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

  Do you believe that when you want something, you absolutely MUST have it . . . and that it is terrible when you don’t get what you must have?  1,257 total views Originally posted 2016-05-09 02:14:28.

 1,257 total views

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Guest Author, Dr. Edelstein

REBT (according to Ellis) posits that inappropriate negative emotions come from one type of irrational thinking . . .  1,950 total views,  2 views today Originally posted 2013-12-27 06:34:31.

 1,950 total views,  2 views today

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What, more “darling shoulds?”

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 16 Aug 20 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking, Religion, should statements |

  It’s true!  I never tire of talking about my “darling shoulds.”    1,789 total views Originally posted 2015-03-20 05:06:07.

 1,789 total views

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Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 19 Jul 20 in Albert Ellis, Anger, Awfulzing, Books & Media, bookshop, damning, Uncategorized, Videos |

 1,128 total views Originally posted 2019-03-14 20:12:41.

 1,128 total views

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Disguised “Should” statments

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 15 Jul 20 in Disguised shoulds, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should statements, Why? questions |

  REBT Mates, it may have been yours truly who coined the term “disguised shoulds.”  Click to find out why . . .  2,339 total views Originally posted 2017-01-30 21:19:36.

 2,339 total views

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What is the difference between healthy & unhealthy emoting?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 14 Jul 20 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, Emotions |

  When adversities happen to people, they can choose to make themselves either (1) healthfully negative, sorry and regretful and annoyed and frustrated and disappointed about the happening  or (2) unhealthfully negative . . .     2,072 total views Originally posted 2013-07-16 21:52:38.

 2,072 total views

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Whine! Whine! Whine!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 13 Jul 20 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Rational Songs & Limericks, Videos |

   Dr. Ellis loved making fun of his and our distorted thinking and irrational behavior with humorous rational songs, and  limericks. Humor is, of course, fun, but also very powerful in helping us break the bonds of our irrational thinking.  Here is a special video by Dr. Ellis singing his famous “Whine! Whine! Whine!” song […]

 3,010 total views

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 2 Jul 20 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . .    3,631 total views Originally posted […]

 3,631 total views

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