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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank you.” Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉  6,318 total views, 1 views today Originally […]

6,318 total views, 1 views today

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Disguised “Should” statments

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 12 Jun 19 in Disguised shoulds, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should statements, Why? questions |

  REBT Mates, it may have been yours truly who coined the term “disguised shoulds.” Dishonest “why” questions are one of the most obvious examples. Dishonest “whys” pretend to ask for an explanation when in fact they are really making a “should” statement. 1,571 total views, no views today Originally posted 2017-01-30 21:19:36.

1,571 total views, no views today

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Tyrany of the Shoulds

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 6 Jun 19 in Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking |

In recent discussion, Amanda said : Going out for dinner is a choice, bleeding monthly is not, [therefore] it should be covered by our health care”   1,165 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2017-01-23 04:52:14.

1,165 total views, 1 views today

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Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 10 May 19 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, Your Opinion Matters |

  Masturbation is good and delicious.  Musterbation is evil and pernicious! ~Albert Ellis, PhD Dr. Ellis sometimes used vulgarity and scandalous language . . . 2,036 total views, 8 views today Originally posted 2013-05-24 18:48:47.

2,036 total views, 8 views today

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I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 24 Jan 19 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized |

I need you too much already, lah!  Well, that is they way we might say it in Thailand or other Southeast Asian countries.  But in spite of the charming local syntax, I reckon that the irrational belief that drives this sentiment is very nearly universal.  Taken to the the extreme, and combined in a cocktail of other […]

3,177 total views, no views today

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 5 Dec 18 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . .   2,814 total views, no views […]

2,814 total views, no views today

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