Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 10 May 19 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, Your Opinion Matters | ∞

Masturbation is good and delicious. Musterbation is evil and pernicious! ~Albert Ellis, PhD Dr. Ellis sometimes used vulgarity and scandalous language . . . 1,830 total views, 4 views today Originally posted 2013-05-24 18:48:47.

1,830 total views, 4 views today

Tags: demanding, demands, ellis, masturbation, must, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should

How to stop being offended by every little thing

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 24 Apr 19 in Awfulizing, Demanding, Ellis Four Irational Processes, Low Frustration Tolerance, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, People Rating | ∞

The world would be a better place if everyone stopped being offended by every little thing.” 1,426 total views, 3 views today Originally posted 2016-06-18 09:45:44.

1,426 total views, 3 views today

Tags: anger, demands, healthy emotions, manipulation, manufactured outrage, must, offended, offense, oughts, shouds

Disguised “Should” statments

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 20 Mar 19 in Disguised shoulds, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should statements, Why? questions | ∞

REBT Mates, it may have been yours truly who coined the term “disguised shoulds.” Dishonest “why” questions are one of the most obvious examples. Dishonest “whys” pretend to ask for an explanation when in fact they are really making a “should” statement. 1,397 total views, 3 views today Originally posted 2017-01-30 21:19:36.

1,397 total views, 3 views today

Tags: demanding, demands, disguised shoulds, must, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should

I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 24 Jan 19 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized | ∞

I need you too much already, lah! Well, that is they way we might say it in Thailand or other Southeast Asian countries. But in spite of the charming local syntax, I reckon that the irrational belief that drives this sentiment is very nearly universal. Taken to the the extreme, and combined in a cocktail of other […]

3,103 total views, 2 views today

Tags: desires, love, must, need, needs, ought, should, wants

Is “should” ever necessary?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 20 Dec 18 in Albert Ellis, Awfulizing, Awfulzing, Demanding, Ellis Four Irational Processes, General Semantics, Needs vs. Preferences, People Rating, Rating, Rational living, Uncategorized | ∞

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______ (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”? Thank you.” Ah, yes! Our “Darling Shoulds!” How we resist relinquishing them! As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds! 😉 6,187 total views, 2 views today Originally […]

6,187 total views, 2 views today

Tags: absolutes, demanding, demands, must, musterbation, ought, should

To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 5 Dec 18 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs | ∞

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . . 2,735 total views, 3 views today […]

2,735 total views, 3 views today

Tags: achievement, demanding, demands, must, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, self-perfection, should, success, task-perfection

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Believing that motivation is required before you can take action is a major cognitive distortion. Being motivated to do something is great, of course. However, better to think of motivation as a kind of "bonus," great when you can get it, but not required in order to act. If you believe you have to wait for motivation before you can act, you may be waiting around for a very long time indeed.Rex Alexander
REBTraining coach, author, founder REBTinfo.com
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How to stop being offended by every little thing

Disguised “Should” statments

I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Is “should” ever necessary?

To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Search this site

Quotes That Matter

Sticky Posts

Regular Columns & Features

Recent Comments

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USEFUL LINKS

Amazon Associate Member

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This is a public blog