When adversities happen to people, they can choose to make themselves either (1) healthfully negative, sorry and regretful and annoyed and frustrated and disappointed about the happening or (2) unhealthfully negative creating feelings of horror, terror, anxiety, depression, rage, and other disturbed feelings, along with dysfunctional behaviors. And even if they create these dysfunctional feelings and behaviors, they’re able because we humans are born constructivists .”
~Albert Ellis “Ask Dr. Ellis
This model is one of Dr. Ellis’s unique contributions to the field, that, as far as I know, is not expressed quite in this way in any other place. It is very important. It is game changing. Especially in these here modern times, it is a vital lifeline that can help us cut through the confusing psychobabble coming not only from the woo-woo “New Age” but also from rapidly spreading postmodern-cultural marxist ideology in the U.S. and Europe. Below is a chart with a few examples of healthy and unhealthy emotions:
|annoyed, irritated*||angry, resentful, bitter, enraged|
|stoic, accepting, tolerant, equanimity||frustrated|
*Ellis and Dryden both refer to healthy and unhealthy anger. I also recall Dr. Ellis saying something to the effect that he could not think of an occasion where anger was actually justified. In all due respect to both Drs. Ellis and Dryden, I don’t think the use of anger in a positive context is helpful. I go back to basics and choose to regard anger as something that is provoked by demands, most notably; shoulds, oughts and musts. Therefore I deliberately choose and prefer the words above, annoyed and irritated; When things go wrong, we strive to feel merely irritated or annoyed, but not angry.
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Originally posted 2013-07-16 21:52:38.