Here is a good one from the 2008 archives about self-esteem and self acceptance:
By refusing to “devalue yourself because of your ignorance” perhaps you do understand more than you think.
Self-acceptance and self-esteem is not a “thing” or a condition that you get like athletes foot. It is something you do, on a daily basis. When you say “I accept myself . . . ” it’s a verb, it is an activity, it is something you do. Some people seem to do it more easily and unconsciously (or unselfconsciously) than others. But that doesn’t matter. You do it by catching yourself when you you call your self names, awfulize about your behavior, and other distorted unhelpful thinking and speaking, and then dispute it with your favorite REBT-CBT method, and then replace those irrational, moralistic judgmental thoughts with ones that are more realistic, cooler, less inflammatory, more accepting. Such as “Apparently I don’t understand the whole Unconditional Acceptance thing as much as I thought. But I refuse to devalue myself because of my ignorance!” Another version of that is “It’s OK for me to not understand every fucking thing in the Universe!” 😉
If you actually believe what you said, you get extra credit. If not, there is more work to do, but that’s OK. Dig holes in the problem like Swiss Cheese, and pretty soon you will be a big, fat mouse who feels really good about himself or herself!
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© 2018, Rex Alexander. All rights reserved.
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Originally posted 2015-04-16 04:22:58.