Are opinions incompatible with REBT???
What do you think?
When I said this awhile ago
With REBT, once you "get it" that there is no reason why "X" must not be "X", all you are left with is "X" is "X", or Reality is Reality . . .
A reader wanted to know if it means that we can never have opinions about anything.
Balderdash! Dr. Ellis, for one, was hardly Pollyanna when expressing his opinions! However, it is a matter of sequence, isn't it? You are "allowed" to have opinions and judgments about reality. But accepting the fact that reality exists (X = X, it is what it is) always comes first.
Acceptance is the soft underbelly of REBT."
Then you can choose how you want to think about it and deal with "it," what Dr. Ellis termed "A" or the "Activating Event." Hopefully, your choice of how to deal with "A" will be rational and helpful, and will lead to behavior which is satisfying and rewarding. In REBT, we avoid judging the self (exaggerations., rating it as good or bad ) and make our evaluations about behavior instead. However, even in our judgments about behavior, circumstances and events, we work to avoid awfulizing, over-generalizing, demanding, absolutism, and other exaggerations and distortions.. Still, that doesn't mean that the objective is to become a Moonie and and react with a silly grin to whatever is going on around us. Your deal little goldfish can placidly watch you get attacked with a claw hammer and not blink an eye (even if fish could blink!). We don't want to be goldfish. Or Moonies. Or attain the disconnect from emotions that Star Trek's Mr. Spock did. Mr. Spock makes for great science fiction, and his character raises delicious psychological, philosophical and existential questions. However, if there is indeed a Mr. Spock in the real world, he is most likely sociopath.
Balance is the key.
Khon Kaen, Thailand
Your opinions DO matter. Please jon the discussion by adding your comments in the box below.
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Originally posted 2013-04-20 18:13:40.
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