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Are opinions incompatible with REBT-CBT?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 15 Sep 19 in Acceptance, Demanding, Events, Rating, ULA, UOA, USA |

Are opinions incompatible with REBT???

        What do you think?

When I said this awhile ago

 

 With REBT, once you “get it” that there is no reason why “X” must not be “X”, all you are left with is “X” is “X”, or Reality is Reality . . .”

 


 

A reader wanted to know if it means that we can never have opinions about anything.

 

Pollyanna

Dr. Albert Ellis

Balderdash!  Dr. Ellis, for one, was hardly  Pollyanna when  expressing his opinions!   However, it  is a matter of sequence, isn’t it?  You are “allowed” to have opinions and judgments about reality. But accepting the fact that reality exists (X = X, it is what it is) always comes first.

 

 

 Acceptance is the soft underbelly of REBT.” 
                                               ~Rex Alexander

 

 

Then you can choose how you want to think about it and deal with “it,” what Dr. Ellis termed “A” or the “Activating Event.”   Hopefully, your choice of how to deal with “A” will be rational and helpful, and will lead to behavior which is satisfying and rewarding. In REBT, we avoid judging the self, make our (rational) judgments evaluations about behavior instead.  However, even in our judgments about behavior, circumstances and events, we work to avoid awfulizing, over-generalizing, demanding, absolutism, and other exaggerations and distortions. We especially avoid rating the self as good or bad, and other forms of self-downing.  Still, that doesn’t mean that the objective is to become a “Moonie” and and react with a silly grin to whatever  is going on around us. Your deal little goldfish can placidly watch you get attacked with a claw hammer and not blink an eye (even if fish could blink!) However, we  don’t want to be goldfish, do we?  Or Moonies. Nor do we want to  attain the disconnect from emotions that Star Trek’s Mr. Spock did. Mr. Spock makes for great science fiction, a beloved character in a beloved show. More than that, his character raises delicious psychological, philosophical and existential questions. However, if there is indeed a Mr. Spock in the real world,  he is most likely  sociopath.

Balance is the key.

Cheers,

Rex
Khon Kaen, Thailand
Rex@REBTinfo.com


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Originally posted 2013-04-20 18:13:40.

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Rex Alexander

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Rex is a blogger, REBT coach and founder of the REBTraining.com / REBTinfo.com website, admin and regular contributor to the REBTraining Facebook Group

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