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How to deal with your past errors?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 5 Aug 20 in Albert Ellis, damning, downing, Ellis Quotes, People Rating, Rating, Shame, USA |

By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future.” ~Albert Ellis    1,848 total views,  2 views today Originally posted 2017-06-17 06:21:04.

 1,848 total views,  2 views today

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Task perfection vs. self-perfection

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 1 Jul 20 in Acceptance, Perfectionism, Rating, Task Perfection vs. Self Perfection, ULA, UOA, USA |

  Many confuse the REBT idea of Unconditional Self-acceptance (USA) with being cavalier unconcerned about how well they perform, and fear that embracing might cause them to lose their edge in a competitive, results-oriented society, possibly losing their work ethic and slipping into a passive, dysfunctional lifestyle. While this concern is understandable, it is unfounded. […]

 1,495 total views

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“Unconditional” Self Acceptance ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 19 Jun 20 in Acceptance, Basics, Rating, ULA, UOA, USA |

What does “Unconditional”  in Unconditional Self Acceptance Mean  ??? A reader says that his English teacher advised that he avoid “modifiers” as they weaken the strength of the word they are modifying.  So, rather than “Unconditional Self Acceptance (USA)” he just leaves it at “self acceptance.”  Nothing wrong with that, but it does raise some […]

 3,770 total views

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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank you.”       Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉   6,813 total views […]

 6,813 total views

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Judge behavior, not self

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 7 May 20 in Acceptance, ePrime, Guilt & Shame, judgment, Rating, Self esteem, self vs. behavior, ULA, UOA, USA |

The long and the short of it is, however, that REBT-CBT–as do some  other modern psychological approaches and schools of psychology–encourages people to distinguish between self and behavior, and to recognize  judgments or global ratings as irrational and unhelpful, and to instead practice Unconditional Self Acceptance (USA), Unconditional Other Acceptance (UOA) and Unconditional Life Acceptance (ULA)  […]

 4,044 total views,  2 views today

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This from an old friend from the REBT-CBT-FORUM@yahoogroups.com whom we have not heard from for a long time.  This person has been struggling with anxiety and although works diligently applying REBT-CBT techniques, does not appear to be getting much traction. Although I am not psychic, I think I may have an idea as to why. […]

 3,356 total views,  4 views today

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Why is it so wrong to want to kill yourself?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 11 Apr 20 in Acceptance, Rating, suicide |

   A reader of my lengthy post on suicide on another site responds in part “Why is it so wrong to want to move on [kill yourself]  before your natural physical body tells you to This is not expressing a view more a question for discussion”  2,752 total views,  1 views today Originally posted 2014-08-16 18:12:15.

 2,752 total views,  1 views today

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Why “can’t” you rate the essence of a human?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 1 Apr 20 in Acceptance, ePrime, General Semantics, judgment, People Rating, Rating, Self esteem, self vs. behavior, USA |

Jane asks a very important question: Why does REBT say you cannot define or rate the essence of a human being?  . . . Click to read her full question and my reply . . .  1,674 total views Originally posted 2013-12-15 23:16:48.

 1,674 total views

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A reader is confused about labels and self-rating

Rate behavior . . . not self, and you are doing good ePrime and  on the right track for doing good REBT.  This process is even more comprehensible and user-friendly if you learn something about ePrime, which is not too much of a stretch    3,493 total views Originally posted 2013-07-17 02:39:22.

 3,493 total views

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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the “teapot model” of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

 8,130 total views

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