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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank you.”       Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉   6,746 total views, […]

 6,746 total views,  2 views today

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Judge behavior, not self

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 7 May 20 in Acceptance, ePrime, Guilt & Shame, judgment, Rating, Self esteem, self vs. behavior, ULA, UOA, USA |

The long and the short of it is, however, that REBT-CBT–as do some  other modern psychological approaches and schools of psychology–encourages people to distinguish between self and behavior, and to recognize  judgments or global ratings as irrational and unhelpful, and to instead practice Unconditional Self Acceptance (USA), Unconditional Other Acceptance (UOA) and Unconditional Life Acceptance (ULA)  […]

 3,914 total views,  2 views today

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This from an old friend from the REBT-CBT-FORUM@yahoogroups.com whom we have not heard from for a long time.  This person has been struggling with anxiety and although works diligently applying REBT-CBT techniques, does not appear to be getting much traction. Although I am not psychic, I think I may have an idea as to why. […]

 3,242 total views,  2 views today

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Why is it so wrong to want to kill yourself?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 11 Apr 20 in Acceptance, Rating, suicide |

   A reader of my lengthy post on suicide on another site responds in part “Why is it so wrong to want to move on [kill yourself]  before your natural physical body tells you to This is not expressing a view more a question for discussion”  2,694 total views Originally posted 2014-08-16 18:12:15.

 2,694 total views

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How to deal with your past errors?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 9 Apr 20 in Albert Ellis, damning, downing, Ellis Quotes, People Rating, Rating, Shame, USA |

By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future.” ~Albert Ellis    1,771 total views,  1 views today Originally posted 2017-06-17 06:21:04.

 1,771 total views,  1 views today

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Why “can’t” you rate the essence of a human?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 1 Apr 20 in Acceptance, ePrime, General Semantics, judgment, People Rating, Rating, Self esteem, self vs. behavior, USA |

Jane asks a very important question: Why does REBT say you cannot define or rate the essence of a human being?  . . . Click to read her full question and my reply . . .  1,618 total views Originally posted 2013-12-15 23:16:48.

 1,618 total views

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A reader is confused about labels and self-rating

Rate behavior . . . not self, and you are doing good ePrime and  on the right track for doing good REBT.  This process is even more comprehensible and user-friendly if you learn something about ePrime, which is not too much of a stretch    3,426 total views,  2 views today Originally posted 2013-07-17 02:39:22.

 3,426 total views,  2 views today

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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the “teapot model” of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

 7,896 total views,  1 views today

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Task perfection vs. self-perfection

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 16 Feb 20 in Acceptance, Perfectionism, Rating, Task Perfection vs. Self Perfection, ULA, UOA, USA |

  Many confuse the REBT idea of Unconditional Self-acceptance (USA) with being cavalier unconcerned about how well they perform, and fear that embracing might cause them to lose their edge in a competitive, results-oriented society, possibly losing their work ethic and slipping into a passive, dysfunctional lifestyle. While this concern is understandable, it is unfounded. […]

 1,409 total views

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“Bad People” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 15 Feb 20 in Emotions, Mindfulness, Rating, REBT & Other therapies compared |

Most people think here are a lot of bad people running around in the world . . .                  ~Sam Harris  1,293 total views Originally posted 2017-08-15 21:53:26.

 1,293 total views

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