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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank you.” Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉  6,419 total views, 1 views today Originally […]

6,419 total views, 1 views today

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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the “teapot model” of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

7,036 total views, 2 views today

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Why is it so wrong to want to kill yourself?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 10 Jul 19 in Acceptance, Rating, suicide |

   A reader of my lengthy post on suicide on another site responds in part “Why is it so wrong to want to move on [kill yourself]  before your natural physical body tells you to This is not expressing a view more a question for discussion” 2,468 total views, no views today Originally posted 2014-08-16 18:12:15.

2,468 total views, no views today

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How to deal with your past errors?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 9 Jul 19 in Albert Ellis, damning, downing, Ellis Quotes, People Rating, Rating, Shame, USA |

By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future. ~Albert Ellis   1,266 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2017-06-17 06:21:04.

1,266 total views, 1 views today

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A reader is confused about labels and self-rating

Rate behavior . . . not self, and you are doing good ePrime and  on the right track for doing good REBT.  This process is even more comprehensible and user-friendly if you learn something about ePrime, which is not too much of a stretch   2,772 total views, no views today Originally posted 2013-07-17 02:39:22.

2,772 total views, no views today

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Judge behavior, not self

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 6 Jul 19 in Acceptance, ePrime, Guilt & Shame, judgment, Rating, Self esteem, self vs. behavior, ULA, UOA, USA |

The long and the short of it is, however, that REBT-CBT–as do some  other modern psychological approaches and schools of psychology–encourages people to distinguish between self and behavior, and to recognize  judgments or global ratings as irrational and unhelpful, and to instead practice Unconditional Self Acceptance (USA), Unconditional Other Acceptance (UOA) and Unconditional Life Acceptance (ULA)  […]

3,384 total views, no views today

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Escape the “Self Esteem” Trap! Today!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 1 Jul 19 in Acceptance, Rating, Self esteem, self vs. behavior, ULA, UOA, USA |

  So called “self-esteem” is a fallacy, a racket invented by what I call the “Self Esteem MAFIA”  ~Rex 1,628 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2017-03-21 21:08:40.

1,628 total views, 1 views today

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This from an old friend from the REBT-CBT-FORUM@yahoogroups.com whom we have not heard from for a long time.  This person has been struggling with anxiety and although works diligently applying REBT-CBT techniques, does not appear to be getting much traction. Although I am not psychic, I think I may have an idea as to why. […]

2,483 total views, no views today

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What is REBT?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 6 Jun 19 in Acceptance, Basics, Guilt & Shame, Happiness, Rating, ULA, UOA, USA, What is REBT - CBT? |

This post is pinned to the top. Scroll down for recent posts REBT / Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy What the hell is it, anyway??? Click the blue  link below  for Will Ross’s excellent, easy-to-follow explanation . . . 35,293 total views, 5 views today Originally posted 2013-03-27 18:01:44.

35,293 total views, 5 views today

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“Unconditional” Self Acceptance ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 14 May 19 in Acceptance, Rating, ULA, UOA, USA |

What does “Unconditional”  in Unconditional Self Acceptance Mean  ??? A reader says that his English teacher advised that he avoid “modifiers” as they weaken the strength of the word they are modifying.  So, rather than “Unconditional Self Acceptance (USA)” he just leaves it at “self acceptance.”  Nothing wrong with that, but it does raise some […]

3,107 total views, no views today

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