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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the “teapot model” of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

 9,402 total views

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American exceptionalism (REBT style)

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 28 Jan 23 in General Semantics, overgeneralization, People Rating, Rating |

On another thread, we have been discussing America being the greatest country in the world, that is so called “American Exceptionalism.”  2,474 total views Originally posted 2016-06-17 05:30:58.

 2,474 total views

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Judge behavior, not self

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 27 Dec 22 in Acceptance, ePrime, Guilt & Shame, judgment, Rating, Self esteem, self vs. behavior, ULA, UOA, USA |

The long and the short of it is, however, that REBT-CBT–as do some  other modern psychological approaches and schools of psychology–encourages people to distinguish between self and behavior, and to recognize  judgments or global ratings as irrational and unhelpful, and to instead practice Unconditional Self Acceptance (USA), Unconditional Other Acceptance (UOA) and Unconditional Life Acceptance (ULA)  […]

 5,882 total views,  1 views today

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Why “can’t” you rate the essence of a human?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 27 Dec 22 in Acceptance, ePrime, General Semantics, judgment, People Rating, Rating, Self esteem, self vs. behavior, USA |

Jane asks a very important question: Why does REBT say you cannot define or rate the essence of a human being?  . . . Click to read her full question and my reply . . .  2,668 total views Originally posted 2013-12-15 23:16:48.

 2,668 total views

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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank you.”       Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉   7,871 total views […]

 7,871 total views

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Why is it so wrong to want to kill yourself?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 12 Dec 22 in Acceptance, Rating, suicide |

   A reader of my lengthy post on suicide on another site responds in part “Why is it so wrong to want to move on [kill yourself]  before your natural physical body tells you to This is not expressing a view more a question for discussion”  3,506 total views,  1 views today Originally posted 2014-08-16 18:12:15.

 3,506 total views,  1 views today

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How to deal with your past errors?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 1 Dec 22 in Albert Ellis, damning, downing, Ellis Quotes, People Rating, Rating, Shame, USA |

By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future.” ~Albert Ellis    2,928 total views Originally posted 2017-06-17 06:21:04.

 2,928 total views

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“Unconditional” Self Acceptance ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 25 Nov 22 in Acceptance, Basics, Rating, ULA, UOA, USA |

What does “Unconditional”  in Unconditional Self Acceptance Mean  ??? A reader says that his English teacher advised that he avoid “modifiers” as they weaken the strength of the word they are modifying.  So, rather than “Unconditional Self Acceptance (USA)” he just leaves it at “self acceptance.”  Nothing wrong with that, but it does raise some […]

 5,421 total views

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A reader is confused about labels and self-rating

Rate behavior . . . not self, and you are doing good ePrime and  on the right track for doing good REBT.  This process is even more comprehensible and user-friendly if you learn something about ePrime, which is not too much of a stretch    4,561 total views Originally posted 2013-07-17 02:39:22.

 4,561 total views

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Task perfection vs. self-perfection

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 13 Nov 22 in Acceptance, Perfectionism, Rating, Task Perfection vs. Self Perfection, ULA, UOA, USA |

  Many confuse the REBT idea of Unconditional Self-acceptance (USA) with being cavalier unconcerned about how well they perform, and fear that embracing might cause them to lose their edge in a competitive, results-oriented society, possibly losing their work ethic and slipping into a passive, dysfunctional lifestyle. While this concern is understandable, it is unfounded. […]

 2,887 total views,  2 views today

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