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Tyrany of the Shoulds

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 18 Nov 24 in Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking |

In recent discussion, Amanda said : Going out for dinner is a choice, bleeding monthly is not, [therefore] it should be covered by our health care”   Originally posted 2017-01-23 04:52:14.

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 28 Oct 24 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . .   Originally posted 2013-02-25 23:01:10.

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Disguised “Should” statments

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 2 Aug 24 in Disguised shoulds, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should statements, Why? questions |

  REBT Mates, it may have been yours truly who coined the term “disguised shoulds.”  Click to find out why . . . Originally posted 2017-01-30 21:19:36.

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MUST I have what I want?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 28 Jul 24 in Demanding, Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

  Do you believe that when you want something, you absolutely MUST have it . . . and that it is terrible when you don’t get what you must have? Originally posted 2016-05-09 02:14:28.

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Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 27 Jun 24 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, Your Opinion Matters |

  Masturbation is good and delicious.  Musterbation is evil and pernicious! ~Albert Ellis, PhD Dr. Ellis sometimes used vulgarity and scandalous language . . . Originally posted 2013-05-24 18:48:47.

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Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 24 Jun 24 in Anger, Demanding, Uncategorized |

       People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.” ~Albert Ellis   Originally posted 2019-09-10 23:05:13.

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I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 10 May 24 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized |

 I need you too much already, lah!  Four Tops – “Baby I Need Your Loving” (1966) Originally posted 2013-08-01 18:17:04.

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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank you.”       Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉  Originally posted […]

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Should you read this?

HOMEWORK CHALLENGE Are you conscious of how and when you use the words should, must, ought, etc? Will you take the homework challenge this week?    Originally posted 2018-09-02 18:11:21.

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