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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉  5,409 total views, 6 views today Originally posted […]

5,409 total views, 6 views today

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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the "teapot model" of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

5,276 total views, 2 views today

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why's? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between "task-perfection" and "self-perfection." 3. Can we be motivated without . . . 1,849 total views, 2 views today Originally […]

1,849 total views, 2 views today

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I cried because I had no shoes…

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 26 Sep 17 in Awfulzing, Emotions, Guilt & Shame |

  I cried because I had no shoes . . .   605 total views, no views today Originally posted 2017-03-25 07:16:16.

605 total views, no views today

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To Whine or Not To Whine

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 19 Sep 17 in Humor, Irrationality in the arts & media, Rational Songs & Limericks |

Jimmy Walter, one of the regular contributors at the REBT-CBT Forum Yahoogroup http://bit.ly/REBT-Yahoo  was generous enough to allow us to use his wonderful spoof on Hamlet's timeless soliloquy.   Special treat, at the end, see video of Dr. Ellis's singing his famous "Whine! Whine! Whine!" song…     301 total views, 2 views today Originally posted 2013-01-23 08:05:17.

301 total views, 2 views today

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Whine! Whine! Whine!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 15 Aug 17 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Rational Songs & Limericks, Videos |

Dr. Ellis loved making fun of his and our distorted thinking and irrational behavior with humorous rational songs, and  limericks.  Humor is, of course, fun, but also very powerful in helping us break the fonds of our irrational thinking.  Here is a special video by Dr. Ellis singing his famous "Whine! Whine! Whine!" song about […]

332 total views, no views today

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Disguised “Should” statments

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 15 Aug 17 in Disguised shoulds, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should statements, Why? questions |

REBT Mates, it may have been yours truly who coined the term “disguised shoulds.” Dishonest “why” questions are one of the most obvious examples. Dishonest “whys” pretend to ask for an explanation when in fact they are really making a “should” statement. 437 total views, no views today Originally posted 2017-01-30 21:19:36.

437 total views, no views today

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Task perfection vs. self-perfection.

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 15 Aug 17 in David Burns, Demanding, Perfectionism, Task Perfection vs. Self Perfection |

  Dare to be average! 720 total views, 2 views today Originally posted 2016-08-22 20:50:01.

720 total views, 2 views today

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Masturbation is good and delicious . . .

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 23 Jun 17 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, Your Opinion Matters |

  Masturbation is good and delicious.  Musterbation is evil and pernicious! ~Albert Ellis, PhD   Share you thoughts and comments! Please help to keep our blog dynamic and organic.  Comments? Agree? Disagree? How do you interpret this statement? Do you think it affects the way you practice and apply REBT-CBT? Does Dr. Ellis's "salty" language […]

244 total views, no views today

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