Is “should” ever necessary?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 30 May 23 in Albert Ellis, Awfulizing, Awfulzing, Demanding, Ellis Four Irational Processes, General Semantics, Needs vs. Preferences, People Rating, Rating, Rational living, Uncategorized | ∞

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______ (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”? Thank you.” Ah, yes! Our “Darling Shoulds!” How we resist relinquishing them! As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds! 😉 7,931 total views […]

7,931 total views

Tags: absolutes, demanding, demands, must, musterbation, ought, should

To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 2 May 23 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs | ∞

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . . 4,769 total views, 1 views today […]

4,769 total views, 1 views today

Tags: achievement, demanding, demands, must, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, self-perfection, should, success, task-perfection

How to stop being offended by every little thing

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 1 May 23 in Awfulizing, Demanding, Ellis Four Irational Processes, Low Frustration Tolerance, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, People Rating | ∞

The world would be a better place if everyone stopped being offended by every little thing.” 3,382 total views Originally posted 2016-06-18 09:45:44.

3,382 total views

Tags: anger, demands, healthy emotions, manipulation, manufactured outrage, must, offended, offense, oughts, shouds

Is “indifference” a better option than “strong preference”?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 8 Apr 23 in Demanding, Emotions, Needs vs. Preferences | ∞

Is “indifference” a valid alternative to having a “strong preference”? We have been having a lively one over that 5,160 total views Originally posted 2013-07-17 19:12:21.

5,160 total views

Tags: demands, musts, needs, preferences, whatever

MUST I have what I want?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 7 Mar 23 in Demanding, Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs | ∞

Do you believe that when you want something, you absolutely MUST have it . . . and that it is terrible when you don’t get what you must have? 2,090 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2016-05-09 02:14:28.

2,090 total views, 1 views today

Tags: demands, must, needs, ought, should, wants

Baby I Need Your Lovin’ . . . Really?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 6 Mar 23 in Awfulzing, Demanding, Love and Romance, Needs vs. Preferences, should statements | ∞

Baby I Need Your Lovin’| Baby, I need your lovin’ I got to have all your lovin’ Baby, I need your lovin’ Got to have all your lovin’ ~The Four Tops, 1964 Awwwwww! Ain’t that romantic? Don’t that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Ain’t it the truth? […]

4,204 total views, 1 views today

Tags: awfulizing, intimacy, love, needs, preferences, wants

Will REBT make you a “Pollyanna” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 14 Jan 23 in Ellis Four Irational Processes, Emotions, Needs vs. Preferences, Rational Thinking, What is REBT - CBT? | ∞

Will practicing REBT turn you into a Pollyanna ??? 3,134 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2016-12-30 03:55:27.

3,134 total views, 1 views today

Tags: emotions, people pleasing, pollyanna

I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 21 Dec 22 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized | ∞

I need you too much already, lah! Four Tops – “Baby I Need Your Loving” (1966) 5,614 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2013-08-01 18:17:04.

5,614 total views, 1 views today

Tags: desires, love, must, need, needs, ought, should, wants

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