To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 31 Aug 21 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs | ∞

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . . 4,153 total views Originally posted […]

4,153 total views

Tags: achievement, demanding, demands, must, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, self-perfection, should, success, task-perfection

I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 28 Aug 21 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized | ∞

I need you too much already, lah! Four Tops – “Baby I Need Your Loving” (1966) 4,692 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2013-08-01 18:17:04.

4,692 total views, 1 views today

Tags: desires, love, must, need, needs, ought, should, wants

Will REBT make you a “Pollyanna” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 7 Aug 21 in Ellis Four Irational Processes, Emotions, Needs vs. Preferences, Rational Thinking, What is REBT - CBT? | ∞

Will practicing REBT turn you into a Pollyanna ??? 2,572 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2016-12-30 03:55:27.

2,572 total views, 1 views today

Tags: emotions, people pleasing, pollyanna

How to stop being offended by every little thing

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 10 Jun 21 in Awfulizing, Demanding, Ellis Four Irational Processes, Low Frustration Tolerance, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, People Rating | ∞

The world would be a better place if everyone stopped being offended by every little thing.” 2,718 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2016-06-18 09:45:44.

2,718 total views, 1 views today

Tags: anger, demands, healthy emotions, manipulation, manufactured outrage, must, offended, offense, oughts, shouds

Baby I Need Your Lovin’ . . . Really?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 21 May 21 in Awfulzing, Demanding, Love and Romance, Needs vs. Preferences, should statements | ∞

Baby I Need Your Lovin’| Baby, I need your lovin’ I got to have all your lovin’ Baby, I need your lovin’ Got to have all your lovin’ ~The Four Tops, 1964 Awwwwww! Ain’t that romantic? Don’t that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Ain’t it the truth? […]

3,643 total views

Tags: awfulizing, intimacy, love, needs, preferences, wants

MUST I have what I want?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 13 May 21 in Demanding, Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs | ∞

Do you believe that when you want something, you absolutely MUST have it . . . and that it is terrible when you don’t get what you must have? 1,596 total views Originally posted 2016-05-09 02:14:28.

1,596 total views

Tags: demands, must, needs, ought, should, wants

Is “should” ever necessary?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 8 May 21 in Albert Ellis, Awfulizing, Awfulzing, Demanding, Ellis Four Irational Processes, General Semantics, Needs vs. Preferences, People Rating, Rating, Rational living, Uncategorized | ∞

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______ (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”? Thank you.” Ah, yes! Our “Darling Shoulds!” How we resist relinquishing them! As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds! 😉 7,369 total views […]

7,369 total views

Tags: absolutes, demanding, demands, must, musterbation, ought, should

Is “indifference” a better option than “strong preference”?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 29 Apr 20 in Demanding, Emotions, Needs vs. Preferences | ∞

Is “indifference” a valid alternative to having a “strong preference”? We have been having a lively one over that 4,573 total views, 1 views today Originally posted 2013-07-17 19:12:21.

4,573 total views, 1 views today

Tags: demands, musts, needs, preferences, whatever

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REBT uses reason, empiricism, logic, and flexible, alternative-seeking ways of thinking. But it also stresses the use of metaphor, hermeneutics, philosophy, narrative, drama, humor, and other presumably non-rational and non-logical means of understanding and alleviating human disturbance.Albert Ellis founder REBT
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