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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the “teapot model” of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

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I cried because I had no shoes…

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 22 Jun 24 in Awfulzing, Emotions, Guilt & Shame |

I cried because I had no shoes . . Originally posted 2017-03-25 07:16:16.

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Avoid shoulds, oughts, musts!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 17 Jun 24 in Demanding, Demanding, Homework, must, musty thinking, Should |

HOMEWORK Avoid using moralistic, absolutist “shoulds”, “oughts”, “musts”, et al. We don’t want to be rigid and dogmatic in this (and in all things). While keeping in mind there are perfectly innocuous uses of “should”, “ought”, “must”, it is nonetheless an excellent discipline to make the effort to avoid them, and to monitor yourself using […]

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TRIGGER WARNING!

TRIGGER WARNING! Sorry to be the one to tell you; people, places and things “out there” do not trigger you. You trigger yourself by your distorted interpretations of the trigger. Of course, to understand that, you first need to understand something about REBT-CBT. Originally posted 2017-10-28 17:04:18.

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Guest Author, Dr. Edelstein

REBT (according to Ellis) posits that inappropriate negative emotions come from one type of irrational thinking . . . Originally posted 2013-12-27 06:34:31.

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Disguised shoulds?

Greta Van Susteren,  former Fox News Analyst Are Greta’s “disguised shoulds” showing? We have been talking about the model of REBT where demanding (shoulds, oughts, musts, etc.) are at the root of disturbance.  I thought it might be a good occasion to reprise my concept of “disguised shoulds.” Originally posted 2014-10-01 06:33:55.

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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank you.”       Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉  Originally posted […]

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