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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the “teapot model” of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

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Avoid shoulds, oughts, musts!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 30 Dec 23 in Demanding, Demanding, Homework, must, musty thinking, Should |

HOMEWORK Avoid using moralistic, absolutist “shoulds”, “oughts”, “musts”, et al. We don’t want to be rigid and dogmatic in this (and in all things). While keeping in mind there are perfectly innocuous uses of “should”, “ought”, “must”, it is nonetheless an excellent discipline to make the effort to avoid them, and to monitor yourself using […]

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How to deal with a hen-pecking boss

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 13 Dec 23 in Awfulzing, Basics, Books & Media, Demanding, job burn out, What is REBT - CBT? |

Boss Mr. Dithers bullies employee Dagwood”Blondie” comic strip King Features Syndicate, 1930s Does the usual advice for improved communications skills and more assertiveness help us to deal with a boss who bullies?   Originally posted 2016-03-11 21:21:31.

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It’s official! “Awfulize” is now a word!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 9 Dec 23 in Anger, Awfulizing, Awfulzing, Basics, Demanding, Demanding, Emotions, Low Frustration Tolerance, must |

Dr. Ellis coined the term “awfulize” by transforming the adjective “awful” into a verb. The language of REBT can sometimes sound a little contorted, especially when employing “ePrime,” in it’s preference for  using more verbs and adverbs than nouns and adjectives.  Now, it is official! “Awfulizing” has made it to the big time and is […]

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Frustrated?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 9 Dec 23 in Demanding, Low Frustration Tolerance, Uncategorized, zz-MONTH-1 |

                Frustrated? “To avoid frustration, disappointment and derangement; interface with the world FIRST and foremost as how it really is,rather than demanding how you think it  SHOULD be. Then, decide what you intend to do about it and how you plan to do it.”    ~Rex Alexander,    […]

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Guest Author, Dr. Edelstein

REBT (according to Ellis) posits that inappropriate negative emotions come from one type of irrational thinking . . . Originally posted 2013-12-27 06:34:31.

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I need you too much already, lah! :o{

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 23 Nov 23 in Demanding, Dire need for love & approval, Needs vs. Preferences, Uncategorized |

 I need you too much already, lah!  Four Tops – “Baby I Need Your Loving” (1966) Originally posted 2013-08-01 18:17:04.

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Should you read this?

HOMEWORK CHALLENGE Are you conscious of how and when you use the words should, must, ought, etc? Will you take the homework challenge this week?    Originally posted 2018-09-02 18:11:21.

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Whine! Whine! Whine!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Thu 2 Nov 23 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Rational Songs & Limericks, Videos |

   Dr. Ellis loved making fun of his and our distorted thinking and irrational behavior with humorous rational songs, and  limericks. Humor is, of course, fun, but also very powerful in helping us break the bonds of our irrational thinking.  Here is a special video by Dr. Ellis singing his famous “Whine! Whine! Whine!” song […]

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 16 Oct 23 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . .   Originally posted 2013-02-25 23:01:10.

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