Disguised shoulds?

Greta Van Susteren,  former Fox News Analyst Are Greta’s “disguised shoulds” showing? We have been talking about the model of REBT where demanding (shoulds, oughts, musts, etc.) are at the root of disturbance.  I thought it might be a good occasion to reprise my concept of “disguised shoulds.” Originally posted 2014-10-01 06:33:55.

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Is “should” ever necessary?

A faithful reader asks What’s the best response to “I should have ______  (done x y z more) and if I had, things would be different now”?     Thank you.”       Ah, yes!  Our “Darling Shoulds!”  How we resist relinquishing them!   As if they were some jewel more precious than diamonds!   😉  Originally posted […]

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Whine! Whine! Whine!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 2 May 25 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Rational Songs & Limericks, Videos |

   Dr. Ellis loved making fun of his and our distorted thinking and irrational behavior with humorous rational songs, and  limericks. Humor is, of course, fun, but also very powerful in helping us break the bonds of our irrational thinking.  Here is a special video by Dr. Ellis singing his famous “Whine! Whine! Whine!” song […]

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To Whine or Not To Whine

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 28 Apr 25 in Humor, Irrationality in the arts & media, Rational Songs & Limericks |

Jimmy Walter, one of the regular contributors at the REBT-CBT Forum Yahoogroup was generous enough to allow us to use his wonderful spoof on Hamlet’s timeless soliloquy.   Special treat, at the end, see video of Dr. Ellis’s singing his famous “Whine! Whine! Whine!” song…   Originally posted 2013-01-23 08:05:17.

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To achieve anything in life, you have to make it a “must” ???

Posted by Rex Alexander on Wed 16 Apr 25 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, must, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

We have been having a fascinating, wide-ranging discussion which I think boils down to a few basic-but-important questions: 1. Is it necessary to avoid shoulds, oughts, musts and why’s? in everyday speech? 2 What is the difference between “task-perfection” and “self-perfection.” 3. Can we be motivated without . . .   Originally posted 2013-02-25 23:01:10.

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Disguised “Should” statments

Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 24 Feb 25 in Disguised shoulds, musterbation, musty thinking, ought, should statements, Why? questions |

  REBT Mates, it may have been yours truly who coined the term “disguised shoulds.”  Click to find out why . . . Originally posted 2017-01-30 21:19:36.

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Task perfection vs. self-perfection.

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 15 Feb 25 in David Burns, Demanding, Perfectionism, Task Perfection vs. Self Perfection |

  Dare to be average! Originally posted 2016-08-22 20:50:01.

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How to Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 7 Feb 25 in Albert Ellis, Anger, Books & Media, bookshop, Demanding, Low Frustration Tolerance |

God knows, we all need this one these days!   Originally posted 2018-12-10 12:00:48.

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What, more “darling shoulds?”

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 2 Feb 25 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking, Religion, should statements |

  It’s true!  I never tire of talking about my “darling shoulds.”   Originally posted 2015-03-20 05:06:07.

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Not fair!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 26 Jan 25 in Basics, Culture, Entitlement, Low Frustration Tolerance |

Originally posted 2018-12-14 21:39:16.

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