MUST I have what I want?

Posted by Rex Alexander on Tue 18 Feb 25 in Demanding, Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking, Needs vs. Preferences, Wants vs. needs |

  Do you believe that when you want something, you absolutely MUST have it . . . and that it is terrible when you don’t get what you must have? Originally posted 2016-05-09 02:14:28.

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How to Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 7 Feb 25 in Albert Ellis, Anger, Books & Media, bookshop, Demanding, Low Frustration Tolerance |

God knows, we all need this one these days!   Originally posted 2018-12-10 12:00:48.

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What, more “darling shoulds?”

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sun 2 Feb 25 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, musterbation, musty thinking, Religion, should statements |

  It’s true!  I never tire of talking about my “darling shoulds.”   Originally posted 2015-03-20 05:06:07.

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Posted by Rex Alexander on Mon 20 Jan 25 in Albert Ellis, Demanding, Your Opinion Matters |

  Masturbation is good and delicious.  Musterbation is evil and pernicious! ~Albert Ellis, PhD Dr. Ellis sometimes used vulgarity and scandalous language . . . Originally posted 2013-05-24 18:48:47.

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Ten Cognitive Distortions

Here an expanded discussion of the Ten Cognitive Distortions as conceptualized by David Burns and the Big Four, four irrational beliefs (IB’s) that drive emotional as conceptualized by Dr. Albert Ellis. Originally posted 2019-08-24 18:57:56.

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Is keeping emotions “bottled up” dangerous?

In my callow and shallow youth, I used to subscribe to the “teapot model” of emotions.  You know, our emotional systems are like teapots with water boiling, generating steam and pressure.  If the steam does not have an outlet, or the outlet becomes overwhelmed by too much steam expanding too quickly . . . POW !!!  Explosion […]

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Avoid shoulds, oughts, musts!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Sat 11 Jan 25 in Demanding, Demanding, Homework, must, musty thinking, Should |

HOMEWORK Avoid using moralistic, absolutist “shoulds”, “oughts”, “musts”, et al. We don’t want to be rigid and dogmatic in this (and in all things). While keeping in mind there are perfectly innocuous uses of “should”, “ought”, “must”, it is nonetheless an excellent discipline to make the effort to avoid them, and to monitor yourself using […]

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It’s official! “Awfulize” is now a word!

Posted by Rex Alexander on Fri 20 Dec 24 in Anger, Awfulizing, Awfulzing, Basics, Demanding, Demanding, Emotions, Low Frustration Tolerance, must |

Dr. Ellis coined the term “awfulize” by transforming the adjective “awful” into a verb. The language of REBT can sometimes sound a little contorted, especially when employing “ePrime,” in it’s preference for  using more verbs and adverbs than nouns and adjectives.  Now, it is official! “Awfulizing” has made it to the big time and is […]

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Guest Author, Dr. Edelstein

REBT (according to Ellis) posits that inappropriate negative emotions come from one type of irrational thinking . . . Originally posted 2013-12-27 06:34:31.

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Disguised shoulds?

Greta Van Susteren,  former Fox News Analyst Are Greta’s “disguised shoulds” showing? We have been talking about the model of REBT where demanding (shoulds, oughts, musts, etc.) are at the root of disturbance.  I thought it might be a good occasion to reprise my concept of “disguised shoulds.” Originally posted 2014-10-01 06:33:55.

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