Roses seem red,
Violets look blue,
Sucks big time too!
Hi REBT Mates!
OK, let’s admit it, poetry is one of the few areas where e-Prime doesn’t work very well. In fact, it sucks! And doesn’t help that I ain’t no poet! I have just published a page containing a lengthy, in-depth e-Prime tutorial by the mysterious Don Scorpio. Although I am not fluent in e-Prime, I have found that knowing and applying some of the fundamentals continues to accelerate and deepen my appreciation of REBT. Be warned, this is a serious, in-dept tutorial, but well worth the investment if you are interested in e-Prime, General Semantics (GS) and REBT. Have a looksee and let us know what you think. Please share with others who may be interested.
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Hi REBT mates! Happy Valentines Day! Enjoy, but don’t be a sap!
Peeps are often surprised that REBT considers “need” to be an irrational belief (IB) in-and-of-itself . . . except at the level of basic survival needs such as food and shelter, and I would add appropriate attachment between mother and infant (see Harlow’s Monkey Experiment http://bit.ly/harlowsexp ).
Most so called “needs” fall into what I call “disguised shoulds.” It is difficult to recognize these as such because “I need what I need” seems so reasonable and like common sense.. I NEED love. I NEED this job I NEED success. I NEED people to cooperate and act kindly toward me. I NEED to have a family, spouse, kids, significant other. True, threats to our economic and social survival can indeed seem like threats to our actual survival. Fortunately, they are not, and while needs seem, well, necessary, they are in fact not in most cases. So, once again, it may be a bummer, a big, nasty, hairy bummer when I do not get what I claim to need . . . but in reality, I only strongly (maybe very strongly) prefer it, and if is not the end of the world if I don’t get it, even though I can enjoy carrying one and as if I can’t stand it.
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I have been thinking about malls as “dopamine factories.” Dopamine is a brain chemical involved in many different functions, most notably pleasure, reward and addiction. Cocaine is addictive not so much because we become addicted to the cocaine, but rather we become addicted to the hit of dopamine, and when we don’t have it we want more cocaine to get more dopamine. Cocaine and other mood altering drugs are the brains way of getting more dopamine!
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It may have been yours truly who coined the term “disguised shoulds.” Dishonest “why” questions are one of the most obvious examples. Dishonest “whys” pretend to ask for an explanation when in fact they are really making a “should” statement.
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In recent discussion, Amanda said : “Going out for dinner is a choice, bleeding monthly is not, it should be covered by our healthcare”
The problem here is the word “SHOULD” as in “SHOULD be covered by our healthcare.” The word fucks up everything when otherwise intelligent people are trying to communicate intelligently.
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Hello REBT Mates.
I am sharing an excerpt from Mark Levinson’s important “Sensible Thinking for Turbulent Times.” The complete book in paper and Kindle is available on Amazon.com . It is only $3.99 on Kindle for some reason.
This chapter serves two important functions. First it provides a comprehensive “mini-history” of World War I. If you have not studied this tragic convulsion of humanity for awhile, you may be amazed to discover or re-discover that this man-made catastrophe causing 17 MILLION deaths and 20 MILLION wounded was entirely unnecessary resulting from an almost comic chain of irrational decisions and events. You may also find that the parallels to the troubled times we live in now are striking in many ways.
The second part of the chapter provides suggestions based upon General Semantics (GS) on how to avoid international conflicts (which can also apply on the level of the organizational and the family as well.
This is a little more scholarly than most of the content on REBTinfo.com but it is important, very important. If you are a serius student of REBT then you already know that Dr. Ellis was strongly influcnced by GS. Knowing something about GS (particularly about the sub-sent of GS called “e-Prime“) will contribute to your growth as a student or as a professional, as it has mine. Enjoy and please share your thoughts.
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Happy New Year REBTmates!
When we are working with the problem of being upset about the way someone treated us, it is REBT 101 that we eventually get to the assertion that there is no reason why Sally absolutely must treat is in a kind way. However, this is only 50% of the dispute, and some inadvertently or deliberately skip the first part, the “E” in REBT. This short-circuits the process, is like weak beer without the fizz, and becomes some technique different than REBT.
The first-and-so-important step is something to the effect of. . .
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Hi there RationalMates!
Warm wishes for the holidays to all of our members and friends.
Thank you for your support this year and looking forward to bigger and better things in 2017!
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One of the best chapter titles in all the annals of Chapterdom is Dr. Burns’s antidote to perfectionism “Dare To Be Average!” from the now-classic “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.” One of Dr. Burns’s many important contributions to CBT is teaching us to distinguish between what he calls “task perfection” and “self-perfection.” We may try very hard to achieve task perfection, and naturally be disappointed when if our performance fails to live up to our expectations. However, success or failure at a task does not make us a success or failure (or any other abstraction) as a person. In other words, our essence (whatever that is), our self is unaffected by our performance.
Possibly a more interesting questions for CBTers, is CBT good for “high-performance” individuals such as Olympic athletes? Can Olympic athletes succeed as well by transforming “I absolutely MUST win the gold” into “Although I STRONGLY prefer to win the gold, it is not the end of the world if I do not.”
However, short of Olympians, for the rest of us, the later is certainly a more rational, healthy and helpful way to approach performance and achievement.
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I have been noticing a lot of CBT-REBT and related apps on Android these days. I assume the same is true with iPhone apps. Some of these look quite interesting. Unfortunately, smart phone apps are not really my “thing” and I don’t have time to devote to yet another project. So . . . It would be really great if you guys could check out some of these apps and then write a brief review on the books/media section of the REBT Blog, here => http://bit.ly/1UWEB6w Thaks, lah!
One of the main over-arching intents of REBT Info is to provide a permanent, well-organized and cataloged archive of discussions and materials about CBT-REBT and related topics that is structured, categorized, searchable and always available to those who want to learn or want to share or need help. Facebook (et al) is great, but it is more like a “live” conversation. Almost immediately after something is posted, is is gone, and not so easily retrieved, just like a real F2F conversation.
So we hope that REBT Info will be useful not only for what is happening now, but for the historical record and reference “library” we are building. How well that succeeds will mostly be you to you guys, how much you engage, participate, contribute, ask questions and otherwise make use of this resources. To those of you who have been doing so along along, we are grateful. To those who have yet to jump in and actually participate, we extend a warm invitation.
Please, share your views of REBT-CBT and related Android and IPhone apps.
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